第296章 诈骗犯都受不了冷暴力
笔趣阁(biquge2345.com)更新快，无弹窗！
【连诈骗犯也都受不了冷暴力】
【一男子在半梦半醒中接到了一个诈骗电话】
【喂！你谁呀？】
【诈骗犯：你好，宇先生，我们是郑州市人民法院的，我院有一张您的传票，请你接收一下】
【已经困得思维不太清楚的宇先生：啥？船票！我不坐船，晕船】
【诈骗犯：不是坐船的船票，是法院的传票。你涉嫌购买运输有害毒品，N名下的银行卡已被冻结，您听清楚了吗？】
【宇先生：微波炉行动】
【诈骗犯：什么(?_?)?？】
【宇先生见诈骗犯没听清，又不耐烦的重复一遍：哎！用微波炉接的，微波炉行动】
【感到被戏耍的诈骗犯恼怒了：这件事对您来说非常严重，请您有没有进行过不良物品或违禁品的运输】
【呼噜~呼噜~】
【耳边传来阵阵绵延不绝的呼噜声】
【不被客户重视的诈骗犯发出了威胁：先森，你在听吗？警方现在要去逮捕你，你该怎么办？】
【宇先生已读乱回：我会后空翻座位】
【诈骗犯：先生，您是在跟我搞笑吗？！】
【呼噜~~】
【熟悉的呼噜声又开始在耳边回荡】
【诈骗犯崩溃了：喂？喂！】
【困得不行的宇先生敷衍：嗯】
【诈骗犯直接被气得爆粗口：你是大便吗？】
【宇先生虽然态度敷衍但句句有回应：随便随便】
“《银行卡被冻结了》《用微波炉解冻》《警方要去逮捕你》《我会用后空翻走位》《你是大便吗》《随便随便》好有梗”
““你是大便吗？”有种想骂人，但又不能骂的太脏，给人一种很无力，又莫名其妙的感觉[泪奔][OK]”
“他没睡醒都接你电话了你还想怎么样？”
“我那天接到一个[宕机]给她回了一句：你连未成年都诈骗有点不好吧[九转大肠]然后她说抱歉就挂了[调皮]”
“我好像看到了我一对一的上课睡觉犯困回答老师问题回答的乱七八糟的样子了[捂脸][OK]”
“当事人（清醒版）：不是哥们，当时我已经很尽力了好吗[发怒]”
“他睡着都接你电话你还想怎样！！我客户对我都没有的待遇[流泪][流泪][流泪]”
“今天刚看到原版，那大哥正在在被窝里[捂脸]”
“《鸟语先生与破防微波炉》”
“鸟语先生都困成这样了，还接你电话，还句句有回应宥多宠你啊宝儿[送心]”
“像我这种三个银行卡加在一起名额还不超过1块的，从来不会担心。[黑脸]”
“我想起来了我姥，有一次大中午头，她被诈骗电话给整醒了，刚睡醒，还很懵，诈骗电话语速快，我姥听不懂，她用的是老年机，我在隔壁屋都听见了她听不见[捂脸]，我姥土话味特重，还让诈骗电话说话慢一点，最后把骗子气的挂了电话[捂脸]，当时我整个人都笑懵了”
“原来人在没睡醒的情况下，真的是已读乱回[泪奔]”
哇！诈骗是什么，骗子骗人？
一个骗人的态度还这么差，话都讲不清楚，选得被骗对象还是半睡不醒意识模糊的懒汉，这一看就骗不了几个钱！
难不成后世骗子就这种水平？业余，太业余了！
来自某骗人经验老道的骗子大师锐评。
原来半睡半醒的人真的是我像天幕的后世人说得一样已读乱答啊！
我当初还以为是装的呢！
当和我家那口子成婚那会，我在街上看到一位女子好看的妆容，于是早上一大早就爬起来对镜梳妆。
打扮好后俏生生的站在刚睡醒的相公面前，想看他对我那日妆容的惊艳和平时夸我好看的那一连串不重样的赞美。
结果他睁开眼，直直的盯着我愣了好一会，也没见他夸我。
我当时还美滋滋以为自己打扮的太漂亮把他给看呆了。
结果他张口便指着我说这副模样是他昨天吃剩的果木烤鸭成精了，把化好妆的我气得想哭，便用力的憋住便把他给痛扁一顿，哼！
为啥要把眼泪憋住，是有什么说法吗，刚成亲的那段时间不能哭？
什么乱七八糟的啊？
是我大早上刚刚化好的妆！你懂什么叫冬日起大早化了一个主角无比满意妆容的含金量吗？！！！(??????)??
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