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第0738章 火锅店底下挖出上古土灵材

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拿刀尖往陶罐方向比了比,土黄色的灵光像闻到腥味的猫,顺着刀尖往他手上爬。
    巴刀鱼手腕一翻,刀背往下一压,嘴里念叨:“土归土,灵归灵,你从地里来,先回地里去——”
    刀背在罐口敲了三下,土黄灵光果然缩了回去,店里那些悬在半空的火锅锅子“哐当哐当”全掉下来,红油汤底泼了一地。几个蹲在收银台后面嚼空气的食客猛地回过神,低头看看手里空荡荡的筷子,又看看地上横七竖八的锅子,面面相觑。
    “老板!你们家火锅怎么……怎么还带杂技的?”
    酸菜汤赔着笑脸:“新项目,新项目,沉浸式用餐体验,让您感受失重环境吃火锅的独特乐趣。今儿这顿免单,免单!”
    食客们骂骂咧咧走了,巴刀鱼让酸菜汤把店门先关了,挂个“内部整修”的牌子。三个人围在坑边上,研究那罐子。
    娃娃鱼又感应了一遍,说:“迷心锁好破,笑话就行。镇灵锁和迷踪锁得有专门的解法——镇灵锁得用比它更重的灵材压住它,迷踪锁得靠气味骗它,让它以为来的不是人。”
    巴刀鱼琢磨了一下:“比土灵材更重的……我认识的人里头,就属常叔那块镇纸最沉,那是千年铁木芯做的,上次称了称,八斤八两。可那玩意儿在他家茶几上搁了二十年,他能借?”
    酸菜汤举手:“铁木芯算啥,我后厨那口生铁大锅,四十二斤,压不死它!”
    “你那锅是炒底料的,上面全是牛油和花椒味儿,迷踪锁闻见牛油味说不定以为来的是头牛。”
    “牛怎么了?牛招它惹它了?”
    (本章未完,请点击下一页继续阅读)第0738章火锅店底下挖出上古土灵材(第2/2页)
    娃娃鱼摆摆手:“别吵。镇灵锁好办,我认识一个收废品的,他那儿有半截上古石碑,上面刻着镇纹,我淘换过来应该能顶用。迷踪锁需要一种特别的气味——你们想想,什么东西的气味能让土灵材觉得自己被埋在地底下?”
    巴刀鱼和酸菜汤同时沉默了。
    三秒后,两人异口同声:“土腥味!”
    “上哪儿弄土腥味去?”
    酸菜汤忽然眼神一亮:“我老家院子里那口老井,井底淤泥挖出来,那味儿——我小时候掉进去一回,熏得三天没吃下饭。”
    巴刀鱼点头:“行,兵分两路。娃娃鱼去找石碑,酸菜汤回老家挖井泥,我在这儿守着罐子,顺便想想怎么对付迷心锁——你那本《笑话大全》呢?”
    酸菜汤从后厨柜子里翻出一本卷了边的书,封面画着个龇牙咧嘴的笑脸,底下印着“精选笑话一千则,保证笑到肚子疼”。巴刀鱼翻开第一页:“小明考试考了零分,回家跟他爸说‘爸,我考了零分’,他爸说‘没事,下次努力’,小明说‘我努力了,这零分是我自己做的’——”
    酸菜汤瞪眼:“这就完了?这笑话好冷!”
    娃娃鱼面无表情:“冷就对了。迷心锁怕的是笑,冷幽默也是笑。”
    三个人分头行动。娃娃鱼出去不到一个钟头就回来了,拖着一块黑黝黝的石碑,上面刻着密密麻麻的镇纹,沉得她一路走一路歇,进了店门直接瘫地上:“刀鱼哥,我手都勒出印子了,你得给我加鸡腿。”
    酸菜汤回老家挖井泥,去了三个小时,回来的时候整个人臭得巴刀鱼差点把他扔出去。他拎着个塑料袋,里头黑乎乎的淤泥冒着泡,那味儿——巴刀鱼捂着鼻子退出去三步:“你这不是土腥味,你这是化粪池炸了!”
    酸菜汤还挺得意:“你不懂,越臭越正宗。我爹当年用这井泥沤肥,地里种出来的西瓜甜得跟蜜似的。”
    巴刀鱼忍着恶心把井泥糊在陶罐外头,又用娃娃鱼拿回来的石碑压在罐口上。土灵材的灵光猛地往下一沉,罐子不飘了,地上也不地震了。迷心锁闻着井泥味儿,果然消停了——大概以为自己又被埋回地底下了。
    最后剩迷心锁。巴刀鱼翻开笑话书,清了清嗓子,对着陶罐念:“从前有个人,长得特别黑。有一天他晚上出门,走到路灯底下,路人喊‘谁把路灯关了’——”
    陶罐纹丝不动。
    酸菜汤急了:“你这笑话不行,听我的!”他抢过书翻了翻,大声念,“一个包子走在路上,走着走着饿了,就把自己吃了——”
    陶罐抖了一下。
    娃娃鱼眼睛一亮:“有门!再讲!”
    酸菜汤来劲了,一口气念了二十多个冷笑话,什么“一根火柴觉得头痒,挠了挠,把自己烧着了”“企鹅为什么不怕冷——因为它穿着燕尾服”……陶罐抖得越来越厉害,抖到第二十三个笑话的时候,罐口“噗”地喷出一股土黄色的烟,迷心锁散了。
    三个人凑过去一看——罐子里躺着一块拳头大的土黄色灵材,形状跟老姜似的,表面全是细密的纹路,掰开里头是琥珀色的芯子。巴刀鱼拿厨刀切了一小片下来,搁嘴里尝
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