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第0740章 土灵珠藏在泡面里 黄片姜又坑徒

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    第0740章土灵珠藏在泡面里黄片姜又坑徒(第1/2页)
    巴刀鱼蹲在城中村“好再来”超市门口的台阶上,面前摆着一碗刚泡好的老坛酸菜牛肉面。
    准确地说,是老坛酸菜牛肉味泡面——包装袋上那个“味”字小得跟蚂蚁腿似的,不拿放大镜根本看不见。巴刀鱼拿筷子挑开盖子上压着的那根火腿肠,热气糊了一脸。
    “你就请我吃这个?”酸菜汤蹲在旁边,手里也捧着一碗,已经造下去半碗了,嘴角还挂着汤渍,“咱们仨好歹是玄厨协会注册在编的正式战斗小队,刚刚跟食魇教第七分舵干了一架,差点把南三环高架给掀了,协会就发这个当慰问品?”
    “协会说经费紧张。”巴刀鱼叹了口气,把火腿肠掰开分了一半给蹲在脚边的娃娃鱼。小姑娘接过去啃了一口,眼睛忽然直了。
    “鱼哥,这火腿肠——是土灵材。”
    巴刀鱼筷子停在半空。酸菜汤一口面汤差点从鼻子里喷出来。
    娃娃鱼又嚼了两口,这回闭上了眼睛,腮帮子鼓鼓的,嚼得特别认真,像在品鉴什么米其林三星大菜。咽下去之后她睁开眼,表情特别笃定:“绝对没错。土腥味下面是岩蜜香,蛋白质结构里裹着戊土玄气,这头猪生前至少吃了三年的稀土矿渣。”
    “你拉倒吧。”酸菜汤把碗一搁,“猪吃稀土矿渣?那不成二师兄变金刚狼了?”
    “我没说这头猪是普通猪。”娃娃鱼舔了舔嘴角,眼神里那种小吃货的满足感让巴刀鱼后背一凉,“这头猪是玄兽。有人把它宰了做成火腿肠,用普通猪肉的包装混进超市货架,一路卖到城中村。”
    酸菜汤沉默了三秒,然后低头看了看自己碗里那半截火腿肠,又看了看巴刀鱼碗里已经被掰成两段的另一截,脸上的表情从“卧槽”变成了“卧了个大槽”。
    “也就是说——咱们刚刚把五行灵材之一,土灵珠的载体,给啃了?”
    “准确地说,是吃进去大半了。”娃娃鱼指了指酸菜汤的嘴,“你牙缝里还塞着一块呢。”
    酸菜汤伸手去抠牙缝。巴刀鱼把筷子往碗上一搁,掏出手机,打开协会内部APP,翻到“灵材追踪”页面。界面一片灰白,只有土灵珠那一栏闪着微弱的黄光,定位显示:“已消耗——载体状态:已烹饪·已食用·正在消化中。”
    “完了。”巴刀鱼把手机揣兜里,“协会追踪了三个月的土灵珠,让咱俩一顿午饭给干没了。”
    三个人蹲在超市门口面面相觑。深秋的风卷着落叶从城中村的巷子里穿过来,吹得巴刀鱼手里那碗没吃两口的面呼呼冒热气。隔壁卤肉店的老板探出脑袋喊了一嗓子:“刀鱼啊,今儿不上灶?我这儿卤料包快用完了,你啥时候给我续上?”
    “马上马上,刘哥您再撑两天!”巴刀鱼冲人赔了个笑脸,扭过头来脸就垮了,“先回店里说,别在这儿杵着丢人。”
    三人灰溜溜钻进巴刀鱼那间“刀鱼小厨”——招牌挂了大半年,“厨”字掉了偏旁,现在写的是“刀鱼小刀”,也没钱换,就这么凑合着。店不大,四张桌子一个后厨,后厨的灶台倒是很气派,台面上刻着一圈泛金的阵纹,那是巴刀鱼觉醒厨道玄力的时候自动浮出来的,协会派人来看过,说“品阶不低,具体啥级别看不出来,反正牛逼”。
    酸菜汤一屁股坐进卡座里,把脚翘到对面凳子上:“分析一下。土灵珠化在火腿肠里,被咱俩吃了,玄气进了肚子,现在怎么办?总不能再拉出来过一遍筛子吧?”
    娃娃鱼举了举手:“理论上可以。戊土玄气在人体内代谢周期是四十八小时,如果我能在这两天内持续追踪,等它随……随……”
    “随大便排出。”巴刀鱼面无表情地接上。
    “……对,随大便排出的时候,用我特制的‘收灵符’接住,能回收大概三成左右的玄气。”娃娃鱼眨巴着大眼睛,语气特别诚恳,“就是有点恶心,而且三成不够炼镇界宴。”
    酸菜汤一拍桌子站起来:“那还等啥?赶紧想办法把剩下的七成从咱俩肚子里逼出来!”
    “怎么逼?”巴刀鱼翻了个白眼,“催吐?吐出来你吃?”
    “吐出来也比浪费强——”
    “行了行了别吵了。”娃娃鱼从随身的帆布包里掏出个玻璃罐,罐里泡着半罐子黑乎乎的水,水面上飘着几片黑枸杞和一根蔫了吧唧的参须,“我这儿有个偏方,玄厨协会内部教材第三版第四百页——‘灵材误食后紧急萃取法’。用无根水加黑枸杞加二十年份以下的林下参须,煮开了灌下去,能把胃里的灵材玄气逼到皮肤表层,然后拿刮板刮出来。”
    “刮出来?”巴刀鱼看了看那个玻璃罐,又看了看娃娃鱼,“你确定这是协会教材上写的,不是你自己瞎编的?”
    “教材上写的原话是‘辅以灵液催发,导玄气出表,刮取收存’。”娃娃鱼把罐子往桌上一墩,特别理直
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